What on earth am I supposed to do with myself?

I'm asking honestly here. My partner and I haven't been apart for more than three days prior to this and him being gone six days for a conference seems like an eternity. We aren't very co-dependent, we tend to do our own things, but generally we're just around each other or in the same space when we're both home. My schedule also tends to revolve around his since I don't work much due to my illness. I go to bed when he goes to bed, I wake up when he wakes up (maybe I go back to sleep after, but he's like my first alarm for the day. I know it's morning when he's up and moving.), and I plan to eat/make dinner around when he gets home from work. While I'm super excited that he gets to go abroad for this conference (all the way to Sweden no less!), I'm also a bit beside myself as I have no idea what this next week is going to look like.

Kissing him goodbye this morning was surreal and I felt nervous. I'm going to miss him and worry about him like crazy, but this is something I should get used to doing. He may have to go on more business trips as time goes on. For now, I'll just settle in and do things on...my schedule? Ugh, that sounds weird. I'll just keep busy by watching dramas I need to catch up on and working on my partner's crafty Christmas present.

And yes, Netflix, I'm still awake. Please play the next episode, I'm trying to see how many it takes until this week is over.

Dana~


"Have you ever struggled being apart from your significant other? Do you like it when they go away on business/personal trips? Do you go with them every time they travel? Leave me a comment below!"

For almost 7 years, I have viewed the world the same way. After a certain point people started to question my choice. "How have you not changed your mind yet?" or "Don't you get tired of it?" The answer was always a resounding "No," to anyone who asked. Then, just a few weeks back my partner finally urged me to make the change.

"You know, it's really time to try something new. It's been years!"

I pouted. I pleaded. Then I plodded around all mopey. I didn't want to change. I liked everything the way it was already.

My partner booked the appointment and I nervously went along with it all. He was right, it was time to make a change, but that didn't make me feel any better. I was really anxious about it because this had been a part of who I was for so many years. Seeing a medical professional about it only made the situation feel heavier.

After the initial exam, I spent some time trying to pick what I wanted off a shelf of hundreds that all looked alike.

"This doesn't suit me. I'm not a 40's-something-business man."

"That works better for a child, not a grown woman."

"Why is there nothing that looks like mine? Has my opinion really fallen out of fashion?"

Finally, I decided on something that was almost the opposite of my old faithful style. It had some similarities to my current point of view, but it felt entirely different once I tried it on. At first, my reflection didn't look like me. The shadows it cast created new lines and hid old ones. I tried different angles, different lighting. It wouldn't be the same no matter how much I wanted it to be. There was no going back though, it was time. As we forked over several hundred dollars at the register, I tried to understand how on Earth I was going to adapt to this. I nervously chewed on my lip while we walked out of the shop. There was whole week I had to wait and stew over this choice before it was ready.

The days crawled by, and I felt more and more anxious. When the time finally came to retrieve it, I was a ball of nerves. Setting aside the old and replacing it with the new was certainly an experience. The face looking back at me was different, but after seven years, I was a different person. Maybe it was time to accept my growth and that way I have changed. I wasn't 17 anymore. I'm almost 24-years-old.

Hopefully, my new glasses reflect who I feel I've become.



"What was it like for you when you made a major change to your everyday look? Was it new glasses? A new haircut? How did it make you feel? Let me know in the comments down below!"