What on earth am I supposed to do with myself?

I'm asking honestly here. My partner and I haven't been apart for more than three days prior to this and him being gone six days for a conference seems like an eternity. We aren't very co-dependent, we tend to do our own things, but generally we're just around each other or in the same space when we're both home. My schedule also tends to revolve around his since I don't work much due to my illness. I go to bed when he goes to bed, I wake up when he wakes up (maybe I go back to sleep after, but he's like my first alarm for the day. I know it's morning when he's up and moving.), and I plan to eat/make dinner around when he gets home from work. While I'm super excited that he gets to go abroad for this conference (all the way to Sweden no less!), I'm also a bit beside myself as I have no idea what this next week is going to look like.

Kissing him goodbye this morning was surreal and I felt nervous. I'm going to miss him and worry about him like crazy, but this is something I should get used to doing. He may have to go on more business trips as time goes on. For now, I'll just settle in and do things on...my schedule? Ugh, that sounds weird. I'll just keep busy by watching dramas I need to catch up on and working on my partner's crafty Christmas present.

And yes, Netflix, I'm still awake. Please play the next episode, I'm trying to see how many it takes until this week is over.

Dana~


"Have you ever struggled being apart from your significant other? Do you like it when they go away on business/personal trips? Do you go with them every time they travel? Leave me a comment below!"

Love is definitely in the air as wedding season has already started. I was packing for my trip to a friend's wedding in Manitoba when I got the news that another friend was engaged. Yet another pair of our friends had also gotten married during the spring. It seemed like that time of my life was beginning where everyone around me was getting married and it brings me such joy! I do enjoy seeing couples in love and it makes me snuggle my partner that much more.

This month I got to fly out with my partner to one of his best friend's wedding in Winnipeg, MB. This was my partner's college stomping grounds and a part of Canada I had never visited, so I was super excited. I also finally got to meet all of his college friends in person instead of over voice-chat while we all played video games together. There was some mingling and sight-seeing before the wedding, and I truly loved it all. Winnipeg was not how I expected it to be at all, far more historical and artsy than I was lead to believe, and the families of the bride and groom were super friendly and welcoming.

When the day of the wedding arrived, I even felt nervous. It was a big event, I think there were over 300 people attending. My partner was in the bridal party so he had extra duties to attend to and I had to be on my own during the ceremony. This was fine as since the wedding as in a Catholic church, I got to spend some time reconnecting with my spiritual side as while I'm agnostic that doesn't mean I'm totally against having faith. I was also raised with Christian values since my father was Catholic so I felt comfortable in the space. The only awkward parts for me were following along during the ceremony as the guests would sing hymns and recite prayers, I did my best to keep up despite not knowing the verses very well. It was such a beautiful ceremony and watching our friend and his lovely bride get married moved me to tears. The bride was stunning and witnessing how much they both loved each other made my heart swell.

Afterwards there was a short break for pictures and then it was off to the hall for the reception. I sat amongst strangers, but we had delightful conversations about the surprisingly good food (steak AND chicken on the same plate, I felt spoiled!) and how we got to know the couple. There were speeches and family concerts (the groom came from a very musical family) to begin the night, as well as a slideshow of pictures of the couple from when they were kids. I even helped operate a computer at one point during someone's speech as there was a lot going on all at once.

After the formal part of the reception was over, the dancing begun and I got to reunite with my partner. We danced, chatted with friends and enjoyed the open bar. It was a lively evening and I had so much fun. I can only hope that one day when I get married that I can have such a wonderful time too. If this is the beginning of a long line of weddings and celebrations of love in my life, I welcome it all with open arms.

Dana~


"What was it like when all your friends started to get married? Did you enjoy the celebrations? Do you even like weddings? What was the funniest thing you saw at a wedding? Tell me all your stories in the comments below!"

I know I'm a little old to be moving out for the first time, (and if you count my time in England, this is actually my second move) but I feel like everything's going to change and I'm both excited and a little scared.

I can totally do this. Paying bills, grocery shopping by myself and all that jazz isn't a problem; I've done that. The packing and moving of furniture, with the help of friends and family, also isn't the hard part. I think leaving my parents home for, what I assume will be, good is a bit scary. I love them to death, and being apart from them while abroad was really hard. They are my support system and I worry about them a lot. Coming downstairs to tell my parents something new I learned or to discuss the news I just read was something I really enjoyed. Dinners where we all sat down and watched a movie on demand or holidays where we decorated to the nines are some of my best memories. The thought of giving that up hurts.

To be fair though, I'm not giving it all up really. I still get to see my parents a couple times a week as we're only a half-hour's drive apart. I can call and talk to them whenever as well. We can go over to each other's house for coffee and tea. We can still visit for holidays. Somewhere deep down though, I know it won't be the same. However, that's okay. I'm moving on into a new chapter in my life. I'm moving in with my partner and a group of friends closer to the city than I've ever been. The SkyTrain is almost on my doorstep and I can now do things my way instead of the method my family prefers. There's a lot more freedom in this new chapter and with it comes more opportunities for discovering new quirks about myself. I get to grow and develop in new directions that I never even considered.

This will be a good change for me, but I'll still always miss and be grateful to my Mom and Dad.

So my dream of living abroad has come to an end. After much hesitation, I decided I just couldn't handle it anymore. I was sick all the time, jobless and stressed out. There was too much drama in my living situation that the normal stress of my poor health and my endless job hunt were amplified. So I packed my bags, apologized to my partner and flew home. I was uncertain where I stood with my partner. I told him I'd try to come back. But I don't know. I need to find myself and get well before any decisions are made.

For now I'm so happy to be home. I'm enjoying Canadian food that doesn't make me sick and spending time with my family. I get to retire to my own bed with it's soft memory foam mattress. Yes, I miss my partner, but I know I need this. My anxieties need to clear up and I must get my health back. I hated making this choice. However, my mood improvement already shows I chose correctly.

So, after only four months...My life abroad is over. Still, I learned a lot about myself and how to be independent. I can cook for myself and I'm comfortable doing so. I know how to shop efficiently and search out deals. I can manage all household chores and keep up with bills. This adventure has given me so many life skills. Better still, I found out what it was like to live with a partner for the first time as well as what it's like to live on very little money. I do not regret the move one iota.

Dana~

As the titled explains... I am getting discouraged. I have been applying left and right for work. Everyday, I'm putting myself out there as much as I possibly can. To be fair, I have gotten a lot of responses! In fact, the first day of using my new phone I had a phone interview for the perfect job. I was even offered the position while on the phone. We discussed everything and he said he would get it set up. Then the next day I received a rejection email. The interviewer had been so enthusiastic about hiring me on the phone... I was confused. I brushed it off as they found someone better.

Then the same thing happened the following week. And then again. And again. In four weeks, I've been turned down for countless jobs right after making it through the hiring process. According to each interviewer, I was personable and met all their criteria. What was I doing wrong?  Finally, I asked the last interviewer who rejected me why they had made the decision. What did I need to work on? She took a while to get back to me, but awkwardly explained that the company was nervous to hire someone on a visa. They preferred to hire nationals instead of foreigners.

That was odd. I had already explained that my visa allowed me to work and there would be no issues. I even said I would be willing to return to Canada and switch visas if they wanted me as a permanent hire. I had done my research and knew what the requirements were. Still, that was their reasoning. No foreign-nationals. During the interview, she figured I would be fine to hire and enthusiastically offered me the job anyways. But when she took it to her superiors... that's when I was rejected. They were anxious about hiring immigrants and didn't want to be painted in a poor light for not supporting jobs for UK citizens.

I felt horrible. I never knew it would be so hard to get a job. I thanked the interviewer for her candor and went back to applying. It's been a week since then and I'm losing more hope with every rejection. Am I not worthy because I'm Canadian?

Dana~