I know I'm a little old to be moving out for the first time, (and if you count my time in England, this is actually my second move) but I feel like everything's going to change and I'm both excited and a little scared.

I can totally do this. Paying bills, grocery shopping by myself and all that jazz isn't a problem; I've done that. The packing and moving of furniture, with the help of friends and family, also isn't the hard part. I think leaving my parents home for, what I assume will be, good is a bit scary. I love them to death, and being apart from them while abroad was really hard. They are my support system and I worry about them a lot. Coming downstairs to tell my parents something new I learned or to discuss the news I just read was something I really enjoyed. Dinners where we all sat down and watched a movie on demand or holidays where we decorated to the nines are some of my best memories. The thought of giving that up hurts.

To be fair though, I'm not giving it all up really. I still get to see my parents a couple times a week as we're only a half-hour's drive apart. I can call and talk to them whenever as well. We can go over to each other's house for coffee and tea. We can still visit for holidays. Somewhere deep down though, I know it won't be the same. However, that's okay. I'm moving on into a new chapter in my life. I'm moving in with my partner and a group of friends closer to the city than I've ever been. The SkyTrain is almost on my doorstep and I can now do things my way instead of the method my family prefers. There's a lot more freedom in this new chapter and with it comes more opportunities for discovering new quirks about myself. I get to grow and develop in new directions that I never even considered.

This will be a good change for me, but I'll still always miss and be grateful to my Mom and Dad.

Life in the UK isn't as awesome as I had hoped. Things with my partner are tense to say the least...His family drama has pushed me to the edge and put him into a miserable place. Nothing I do snaps him out of it.  Worse still, I haven't found work and I'm really worried about our money situation. Also, I realized no matter how careful I am, the food here keeps causing IBS flare ups. I'm in agony all the time and I've lost 30lbs because I can barely eat. I miss home everyday. I miss my family.

The stress pushed me too far the other day. I broke down. I found myself wandering aimlessly in town again and I couldn't take the pressure anymore. I was at my worst when this was supposed to be a great time in my life. So I reached out to a charity counselling group. They set me up with a support worker and a counselor. Meeting the support worker helped me right away. I felt more confident and less trapped in my own head. She gave me support and tough love, both of which I desperately needed. She also gave me more resources to look after myself. I left the meeting with pamphlets, notes and a new outlook. I knew things weren't going to be amazing, but maybe I could pull myself out of this funk.

I have my first appointment with the counselor next week. I picked a male counselor because I thought he could give me a better point of view on how my boyfriend was feeling. I wanted to be objective about everything and fair to his position. Fingers crossed this helps me sort out my anxieties.

Dana~

Well, despite being really down about my job hunt... I found a way to feel better. My partner, his older brother and I all went on a trip this week! It was a day trip, but being out and seeing the sights was a refreshing change. It was all very impromptu. His brother picked us up and drove us to Lynton & Lynmouth. Gosh, was it just a gorgeous sight! I adored it there. So much to see and so much history to soak up. I wish we could afford to go out like this more often.

The view from the Lynton & Lynmouth tram

Essentially, they are two towns, one down by the ocean and the other on top of a ginormous hill. There's a little tram to take up the hill to get between the towns. The ocean view across to Wales was breath-taking too, and it was really cool to see another country off in the distance. Reminds me of looking across the water in White Rock and seeing Washington State. But Wales looks so much nicer from here. Maybe I'm wearing rose-coloured glasses still, but I really needed this day out.

Dana~

As the titled explains... I am getting discouraged. I have been applying left and right for work. Everyday, I'm putting myself out there as much as I possibly can. To be fair, I have gotten a lot of responses! In fact, the first day of using my new phone I had a phone interview for the perfect job. I was even offered the position while on the phone. We discussed everything and he said he would get it set up. Then the next day I received a rejection email. The interviewer had been so enthusiastic about hiring me on the phone... I was confused. I brushed it off as they found someone better.

Then the same thing happened the following week. And then again. And again. In four weeks, I've been turned down for countless jobs right after making it through the hiring process. According to each interviewer, I was personable and met all their criteria. What was I doing wrong?  Finally, I asked the last interviewer who rejected me why they had made the decision. What did I need to work on? She took a while to get back to me, but awkwardly explained that the company was nervous to hire someone on a visa. They preferred to hire nationals instead of foreigners.

That was odd. I had already explained that my visa allowed me to work and there would be no issues. I even said I would be willing to return to Canada and switch visas if they wanted me as a permanent hire. I had done my research and knew what the requirements were. Still, that was their reasoning. No foreign-nationals. During the interview, she figured I would be fine to hire and enthusiastically offered me the job anyways. But when she took it to her superiors... that's when I was rejected. They were anxious about hiring immigrants and didn't want to be painted in a poor light for not supporting jobs for UK citizens.

I felt horrible. I never knew it would be so hard to get a job. I thanked the interviewer for her candor and went back to applying. It's been a week since then and I'm losing more hope with every rejection. Am I not worthy because I'm Canadian?

Dana~

My new cellphone came today! It's an Alcatel phone with a QWERTY keyboard. I love proper physical keyboards on phones. I haven't had one in forever. Two of my favourite phones had them: my orange LG Rumor and my HTC Desire Z. Now that I upgraded my Canadian phone last year to a Google Nexus 5, I miss my QWERTY keyboard for typing. So this little pink phone makes me very happy. Texting will be a breeze.

My sim card came in the mail a few days ago. I popped it into my phone right away and activated it online. My pink phone is ALIVE! Muwahahaha. Now I'm off to apply for jobs and continue forward with my plans for living in the UK for the next couple years. Having a cellphone really solidifies it for me. I have a UK number attached to my name... I really am living here.

Dana~

I began my job hunt the other day and realized I was missing one very important thing. A UK phone number. I couldn't exactly give them my boyfriend's cell number, he rarely checks his phone and I don't want to miss an opportunity. So I came to the decision of purchasing a basic cellphone so I could apply for work. It also would come in handy if my partner or friends needed to contact me when I'm out and about. Especially since I find myself wandering through town aimlessly nowadays. It is quite beautiful and I adore the historical buildings.

Anyways, I explained my position to my partner who agreed and said I should look for a good company. He wanted to switch to a new plan since his company was gouging him every month. Thus I set out to visit the phone shops on the High Street the following day. I stopped at all of them and discussed phone plans. They all were really expensive for what I wanted. Also everyone kept trying to sell me on a smartphone when all I needed was a basic phone for texting and phone calls.

 Eventually, I met my partner at his brother's house both tired and frustrated that I had not found a solution to my cellphone problem. My partner corrected my English, reminding me that they were called mobiles here. As I was about to tell him I didn't care, the fiance of my partner's brother spoke up. She told me about her phone plan and how if I purchased a cheap phone from Amazon, I could sign up with giffgaff. Everything was done online and you could order a free sim card right away. They even had a plan which included everything I needed for only a few quid a month.

It sounded too good to be true, but I spent the rest of the afternoon looking it up. She had been right. Even better, once we switched my partner over, texting between us was free! I ordered the sim cards that night and began searching for my new phone on Amazon. Hopefully I'll be hooked up with my new "mobile" number soon!

Dana~

So, I may not have discussed this before, but I'm an avid Simmer. This may not be a word most people know, but it's basic definition is a person who plays a lot of "The Sims 3". I've been playing for about four years now mostly because it's a great way to tell stories and create characters. Whenever I have writer's block, playing Sims always gets my creative juices flowing.

Now, back in Canada I had a pretty decent desktop. It had an Intel i5 processor and everything. It ran "The Sims 3" really well. Well enough that I added so many mods it wasn't funny. I liked to be able to alter the game and my stories to my whim. It was great. Unfortunately, I had to leave my desktop behind when I moved to the UK. I had a hard time coming to grips with the fact I was going to lose my favourite creative outlet. Then I realized I could install the game on my Macbook Pro! I thought this was the solution I needed.

No. Nuh-uh. Not happening. Yes, the game installed. Yes, it ran sort-of-but-not-really-fine. My issue was that the mods barely functioned. Modifications that normally caused no lag, forced the game to a slow crawl. Then there was the custom hair glitch. Half of my properly-installed custom hair styles never load, no matter what trick I try. I had a method to get them to load (Load game, check hairs, close game, delete caches and reset mods, restart game), but even now that has stopped working.

I am very irked as many of the glitches have made me feel more annoyed by my hobby than happy. Things have gotten a bit stressful and I always used to turn to Sims...but now it too is a struggle. I guess I'll just have to keep fighting with it on a day I'm not frustrated.

Dana~

I did it. I live in the UK now. Part of me thinks this is unreal. The other part of me is full of excitement and is jumping for joy. Living abroad is a dream I have that finally came true. The travel was a pain, but after nine hours in the air and five hours riding a National Express coach to the South of England, I finally arrived in my new temporary home. There wasn't much to see on the way, mostly empty fields and sheep. Lots of sheep. But I love sheep, so no real problem. My partner met me at the bus station and we took my luggage back up to the cottage. It has been such a long day I don't think I can explain much more in any coherent way.

I'm settling in and counting all the different things I have to be excited about. New plans to make and a new future to create. I'm excited beyond belief! (Have I said the word excited enough in this post?) For now, I'm too tired to cook and we ordered our favourite Chinese takeaway. I must try to nail down all the slang so I fit in a little better. I still get looks for my North American accent, but my Canadian flag pin should help me be rid of those.

Tomorrow is a new day, the start of a new life in a new country. I just hope I don't forget my old life too much. I'm not leaving Canada nor my family behind forever...

Dana~

I handed in my passport to the UK government the other day. In two weeks time, I should have my Youth Mobility Scheme visa. You see, that relationship across the pond grew a little bit. Enough for me to give it a real shot and move in with the man. I mean, we spent 6 months together last year. Three in England and three in Canada. This visa was the easiest for us to be together and it lets me try to find work right away. This feels very rushed, but so right. The excitement is so intense I feel like I could burst! I've always wanted to live abroad, let alone date someone from far away. Even better I could have international experience on my resume. Chance of a lifetime, absolutely!

Now the not so fun part. I'm terrified. I have never lived away from my family. I can barely cook for myself, not for lack of trying. Then there's the whole, "I'll have no support system" issue. My friends and family, my confidants are all back home. But Skype should be enough and I can always buy a cookbook... I guess I'm just a little nervous. This is technically me moving away from home for two years. That's a hell of a long time. Maybe I'm naive believing I can do this. I mean, I'm 21. I am certainly old enough. But am I mature enough? Are all these doubts proving that I'm not ready? I guess I should go for it and try not to focus on all these worries. I have pretty much everything else sorted. Accommodations, tickets for travel and starting off funds. I'm not taking a blind leap of faith. Thought it certainly feels like it.

I don't want to live with regrets.

Dana~