"Time passes quickly the older you get," said my mother.

       I didn't understand her then, but this last year of my life I've come to understand a lot more about myself and life itself. 24 has quickly become 25 and it feels as if I merely went to sleep on one birthday and woke up on the next. Time does slip through our fingers like sand, and I've realized my mother was right about this. However, there is a logical reason behind that saying. As kids, whose entire lives may only consist of a few years, time seems vast. A day could feel like a week or a month to them simply because they've only existed for a few cycles around the sun. For adults, we've done this before. I've lived through 24 years, and they no longer feel super long. I can't imagine how quick they feel to someone in my parents' generation.

       Now, just because I feel like I didn't even have time to put up my 2018 calendar before I was given my 2019 one, doesn't mean I didn't tackle my goals. On my birthday last year, I made a list of the things I wanted to accomplish before I turned 25. I'm happy to report I was successful. Well, mostly.

Lets review:

• Lose Weight 
• Clear up my Acne
• Finish Writing a Full-length Novel

       Right off the bat, I can cross off the first one. Not only did I complete that goal, but I crushed it. I lost 50lbs between February and September last year. Even better, I've maintained that loss for the last five months. If I hadn't opened my eyes to anti-fat bias, this would be  a major celebration. It shouldn't be. Yes, I'm super proud of myself, but mostly for the effort I put into this endeavour rather than the results. Wearing size medium leggings makes me feel accomplished, and the anti-fat bias that inspires this feeling is disappointing. I set this goal to prove a point (that my illness was the same or worse when I was thinner) and I did just that. Unfortunately, I wrecked my metabolism along the way and created new disordered eating habits. So, while I'm pleased to have defeated this goal, I'm also very regretful for having set it in the first place.

       As for the second goal, I didn't think I'd manage to complete that one. I'd been battling acne for over a decade, how would I defeat it in a single year? Welp. Eating some crow on that one. In December 2017, I started taking Spironolactone 50mg for my PCOS symptoms, but specifically for acne. I increased the dosage in February to 100mg. Spring and summer were rough, but by mid-August, my skin cleared up. It was miraculous! It's super rare that I get pimples at all now, big ones almost never appear. I can actually go out in public with a bare face and I couldn't be happier. Thank you, Spiro. I should've tried you sooner.

       Now, the third goal, I must sadly admit I didn't complete. My novel manuscript fell to the wayside as my health and then my weight loss regime became my focus. However, over the summer, I picked up an old project and found my passion for writing again. It's a co-written fanfiction I began years ago and I haven't fallen in love with my work like this in so long... It's a wonderful feeling. I wrote about 100,000 words in the latter half of 2018, so I'd say I sort of completed this goal in a sense. But I won't cross it off for posterity's sake.

       Okay, time for the big question, what about 26? Well, I think 2019 is going to be the year of truly simple goals. I felt pressured by those three goals last time (I called them simple, ha!), and with a wedding coming up, I really can't take on too much else. So, I'm thinking small for this year. I'll make a separate post for that though. For now, I'm grateful to have achieved even two-thirds of my goals from last year. I'm proud but burnt out. A slice of cake and some well-deserved rest is in order!

-Dana.

Today, I turn 24 years-old. Today, I made some choices about my future.

For a long time now, I've been coasting. I'm not really pushing myself. I'm not striving to achieve anything. My chronic pain condition (see: Fibromyalgia) has really been holding me back. I can't work, I can barely sleep and I've really let myself go while trying desperately to maintain my pain levels. This stops today.

I've set myself some goals for the following year. These are targets that I've wanted to make progress towards for a long time. Things I've put off for years. I hope to achieve some or even all of these by my 25th birthday.

Before Age 25 I Want To:

• Lose Weight 
• Clear up my Acne
• Finish Writing a Full-length Novel

For almost 7 years, I have viewed the world the same way. After a certain point people started to question my choice. "How have you not changed your mind yet?" or "Don't you get tired of it?" The answer was always a resounding "No," to anyone who asked. Then, just a few weeks back my partner finally urged me to make the change.

"You know, it's really time to try something new. It's been years!"

I pouted. I pleaded. Then I plodded around all mopey. I didn't want to change. I liked everything the way it was already.

My partner booked the appointment and I nervously went along with it all. He was right, it was time to make a change, but that didn't make me feel any better. I was really anxious about it because this had been a part of who I was for so many years. Seeing a medical professional about it only made the situation feel heavier.

After the initial exam, I spent some time trying to pick what I wanted off a shelf of hundreds that all looked alike.

"This doesn't suit me. I'm not a 40's-something-business man."

"That works better for a child, not a grown woman."

"Why is there nothing that looks like mine? Has my opinion really fallen out of fashion?"

Finally, I decided on something that was almost the opposite of my old faithful style. It had some similarities to my current point of view, but it felt entirely different once I tried it on. At first, my reflection didn't look like me. The shadows it cast created new lines and hid old ones. I tried different angles, different lighting. It wouldn't be the same no matter how much I wanted it to be. There was no going back though, it was time. As we forked over several hundred dollars at the register, I tried to understand how on Earth I was going to adapt to this. I nervously chewed on my lip while we walked out of the shop. There was whole week I had to wait and stew over this choice before it was ready.

The days crawled by, and I felt more and more anxious. When the time finally came to retrieve it, I was a ball of nerves. Setting aside the old and replacing it with the new was certainly an experience. The face looking back at me was different, but after seven years, I was a different person. Maybe it was time to accept my growth and that way I have changed. I wasn't 17 anymore. I'm almost 24-years-old.

Hopefully, my new glasses reflect who I feel I've become.



"What was it like for you when you made a major change to your everyday look? Was it new glasses? A new haircut? How did it make you feel? Let me know in the comments down below!"