So my dream of living abroad has come to an end. After much hesitation, I decided I just couldn't handle it anymore. I was sick all the time, jobless and stressed out. There was too much drama in my living situation that the normal stress of my poor health and my endless job hunt were amplified. So I packed my bags, apologized to my partner and flew home. I was uncertain where I stood with my partner. I told him I'd try to come back. But I don't know. I need to find myself and get well before any decisions are made.

For now I'm so happy to be home. I'm enjoying Canadian food that doesn't make me sick and spending time with my family. I get to retire to my own bed with it's soft memory foam mattress. Yes, I miss my partner, but I know I need this. My anxieties need to clear up and I must get my health back. I hated making this choice. However, my mood improvement already shows I chose correctly.

So, after only four months...My life abroad is over. Still, I learned a lot about myself and how to be independent. I can cook for myself and I'm comfortable doing so. I know how to shop efficiently and search out deals. I can manage all household chores and keep up with bills. This adventure has given me so many life skills. Better still, I found out what it was like to live with a partner for the first time as well as what it's like to live on very little money. I do not regret the move one iota.

Dana~

I handed in my passport to the UK government the other day. In two weeks time, I should have my Youth Mobility Scheme visa. You see, that relationship across the pond grew a little bit. Enough for me to give it a real shot and move in with the man. I mean, we spent 6 months together last year. Three in England and three in Canada. This visa was the easiest for us to be together and it lets me try to find work right away. This feels very rushed, but so right. The excitement is so intense I feel like I could burst! I've always wanted to live abroad, let alone date someone from far away. Even better I could have international experience on my resume. Chance of a lifetime, absolutely!

Now the not so fun part. I'm terrified. I have never lived away from my family. I can barely cook for myself, not for lack of trying. Then there's the whole, "I'll have no support system" issue. My friends and family, my confidants are all back home. But Skype should be enough and I can always buy a cookbook... I guess I'm just a little nervous. This is technically me moving away from home for two years. That's a hell of a long time. Maybe I'm naive believing I can do this. I mean, I'm 21. I am certainly old enough. But am I mature enough? Are all these doubts proving that I'm not ready? I guess I should go for it and try not to focus on all these worries. I have pretty much everything else sorted. Accommodations, tickets for travel and starting off funds. I'm not taking a blind leap of faith. Thought it certainly feels like it.

I don't want to live with regrets.

Dana~