Baking, shopping, wrapping, decorating...Job hunting?

Money doesn't grow on trees, especially when you're job hunting. So when I'm given a gift card or even a small bit of money, I save it like crazy. Okay, more like unhealthily hoarding it.

For example, I got a Steam gift card the other week. Now, I've wanted to purchase new games for ages to pass the time between writing job applications. There are so many good looking games out there. Unfortunately, I'm picky when it comes to my games and money nowadays. I only spend money on games with replay value. That's it. If I can't keep coming back to a game and enjoying a new experience, it isn't worth the money to me. Especially if it's over $15.

So when I got home and entered my code into my Steam account, I excitedly surfed the shop for something new to play. I referenced my wishlist and looked at all recommendations. I was even about to buy a few. Then that damn little voice in my head said, "Wait! You'll regret it."

"But how could I? It's got great reviews!" I contested.

My conscious was unwavering, "No, you'll be bored of it in a day. Forget it."

Thus, I didn't buy any games. It's always been like this. I save all my money for a day where I desperately need it, even though it's usually money I've been waiting to use for something specific. I remember saving my lunch money in college thinking there'd be a day when I really needed it to go out or something. This was despite the fact I was starving between classes all semester and that I never went out on the town anyways.

So the gift card sits unused and unloved. I still return to games I love with replay value. The Sims 3 is always a favourite and can be different each play through. I've also found myself a fan of Kitty Power's Matchmaker on Steam. The British humor and slang gives me waves of nostalgia.

Still, I wish I weren't so prudent and responsible with my money. It'd be nice to have fun for a change.

Dana~

So my dream of living abroad has come to an end. After much hesitation, I decided I just couldn't handle it anymore. I was sick all the time, jobless and stressed out. There was too much drama in my living situation that the normal stress of my poor health and my endless job hunt were amplified. So I packed my bags, apologized to my partner and flew home. I was uncertain where I stood with my partner. I told him I'd try to come back. But I don't know. I need to find myself and get well before any decisions are made.

For now I'm so happy to be home. I'm enjoying Canadian food that doesn't make me sick and spending time with my family. I get to retire to my own bed with it's soft memory foam mattress. Yes, I miss my partner, but I know I need this. My anxieties need to clear up and I must get my health back. I hated making this choice. However, my mood improvement already shows I chose correctly.

So, after only four months...My life abroad is over. Still, I learned a lot about myself and how to be independent. I can cook for myself and I'm comfortable doing so. I know how to shop efficiently and search out deals. I can manage all household chores and keep up with bills. This adventure has given me so many life skills. Better still, I found out what it was like to live with a partner for the first time as well as what it's like to live on very little money. I do not regret the move one iota.

Dana~

Life in the UK isn't as awesome as I had hoped. Things with my partner are tense to say the least...His family drama has pushed me to the edge and put him into a miserable place. Nothing I do snaps him out of it.  Worse still, I haven't found work and I'm really worried about our money situation. Also, I realized no matter how careful I am, the food here keeps causing IBS flare ups. I'm in agony all the time and I've lost 30lbs because I can barely eat. I miss home everyday. I miss my family.

The stress pushed me too far the other day. I broke down. I found myself wandering aimlessly in town again and I couldn't take the pressure anymore. I was at my worst when this was supposed to be a great time in my life. So I reached out to a charity counselling group. They set me up with a support worker and a counselor. Meeting the support worker helped me right away. I felt more confident and less trapped in my own head. She gave me support and tough love, both of which I desperately needed. She also gave me more resources to look after myself. I left the meeting with pamphlets, notes and a new outlook. I knew things weren't going to be amazing, but maybe I could pull myself out of this funk.

I have my first appointment with the counselor next week. I picked a male counselor because I thought he could give me a better point of view on how my boyfriend was feeling. I wanted to be objective about everything and fair to his position. Fingers crossed this helps me sort out my anxieties.

Dana~

As the titled explains... I am getting discouraged. I have been applying left and right for work. Everyday, I'm putting myself out there as much as I possibly can. To be fair, I have gotten a lot of responses! In fact, the first day of using my new phone I had a phone interview for the perfect job. I was even offered the position while on the phone. We discussed everything and he said he would get it set up. Then the next day I received a rejection email. The interviewer had been so enthusiastic about hiring me on the phone... I was confused. I brushed it off as they found someone better.

Then the same thing happened the following week. And then again. And again. In four weeks, I've been turned down for countless jobs right after making it through the hiring process. According to each interviewer, I was personable and met all their criteria. What was I doing wrong?  Finally, I asked the last interviewer who rejected me why they had made the decision. What did I need to work on? She took a while to get back to me, but awkwardly explained that the company was nervous to hire someone on a visa. They preferred to hire nationals instead of foreigners.

That was odd. I had already explained that my visa allowed me to work and there would be no issues. I even said I would be willing to return to Canada and switch visas if they wanted me as a permanent hire. I had done my research and knew what the requirements were. Still, that was their reasoning. No foreign-nationals. During the interview, she figured I would be fine to hire and enthusiastically offered me the job anyways. But when she took it to her superiors... that's when I was rejected. They were anxious about hiring immigrants and didn't want to be painted in a poor light for not supporting jobs for UK citizens.

I felt horrible. I never knew it would be so hard to get a job. I thanked the interviewer for her candor and went back to applying. It's been a week since then and I'm losing more hope with every rejection. Am I not worthy because I'm Canadian?

Dana~

Shopping in the UK is a little different from back home. Shops tend to close around 5 p.m. during the week, or promptly at 4 p.m. on Sundays. For someone who shops at Walmart around 9 p.m any day of the week, this was like living in the twilight zone. Most days, it was extremely frustrating. I'm not usually decent enough to go out by 2 p.m., let alone get two weeks worth of groceries before 4 p.m. The few days I attempted this I felt like death afterwards for all the rushing around and carrying heavy bags the whole way through town.