Baking, shopping, wrapping, decorating...Job hunting?

It's never a positive thing when someone rejects you. It may not even be a personal thing, but it sure does feel like it. The gut-wrenching agony of knowing your best just isn't good enough. It's a dreadful feeling to be told you aren't wanted, even in the politest of terms it's down right awful. Unfortunately, it has to happen over and over again.

Job hunting isn't easy. Not in this economy, not in this city even. Competition is fierce and money is always running short. Few companies are willing to train anyone, so they demand entry level applicants already have experience. That way they don't have to waste money on training. Unfortunately, it blocks a lot of young people from getting hired and starting their careers. No one gives us a chance because it's too much money and too much risk. I try not to blame employers, they have businesses to run. It's hard not to cast blame though, when I look at my very empty bank account and try to find something to keep myself occupied while I wait for the next phone call. Sometimes it's weeks or months before I get another. Sometimes they'll have me trek all the way into the city for an interview, paying peak transit fares, only to never call me back not even to reject me. I spend money to see these people, and they don't even have the courtesy to send a template email saying they were sorry. They can't be bothered.

I get it, life and business are a flurry of things to do and people to see. I'd like to help and be a part of that world. So I'll smile and do my best to make an amazing impression. When, or if, they call me to say I didn't get the job I'm still in professional mode. I greet them warmly, respond positively and act as graciously as humanly possible. It's only decent and I want to present my most professional self even in a difficult moment. So when someone tells me over the phone that I'm not good enough, that they found someone better, I thank them kindly. I wish them and their business well while offering my gratitude for even the tiny chance at a job. It's unfortunate, but now in these tough times I'm grateful for even a polite rejection.

I give in really easily, especially to people I care about. I always do my best to please those that matter. I try to make even strangers happy. I like to spread smiles and do my best so others feel their best. Sometimes though, the weight of it all crushes me.

I got  to my lowest point earlier this year when I had been crushed over and over again; my kindness was abused by someone I truly cared about. I fought to put that behind me and learn to only do what I can.  I give a lot of myself, but not everything. I too deserve to feel my best just like the others I'm always trying to help. I moved on and made new friends. I found another very special person who has helped me see that there is a balance between doing good for others and doing good for myself. This balance has helped me find happiness. I created positive change in my life and I am determined to keep it that way.

This week my determination was tested. Do I give of myself too much once again? Do I let someone else's happiness override my own well-being, just because they are in need? Do I accept the hurt and the sorrow, simply so they don't have to face a situation of their own creation?

"No."

It was difficult, but it was the right choice. I'm happier for it and I won't let anyone use my kindness against me ever again.

~Dana

I have always heard that once you hit rock bottom, you can only go upwards. I took that to mean that when everything goes wrong and I have to start over, that I will eventually be able to bring good things back into my life. Effort would be required, as it always is, but I would still find happiness. I clung to this ideal when life got rough this year.

Then, on one of my darkest days, something surprising happened. A positive and optimistic presence entered my life. The tears stopped. The frustration melted away. The hurt faded. In time, all that was wrong finally started to become a memory. This good influence on my life gave me the strength to believe in hope again. I remembered what it was like to be honestly happy, and not wearing the facade of happiness while I juggled emotional hurt and general frustration with life below the surface.

I'm not saying the new presence caused my happiness, I do not need to rely on something or someone outside of myself to be happy. What happened was that positivity reminded me about all that is good in life and all the good I have to look forward to in my future. By coming to terms with whats happened and remembering I have more to do as I move forward, I was able to find peace with myself and ultimately find my own happiness again. Hello, personal joy, I missed you. I won't let negativity steal away my awesome optimism and internal contentment. It's a lot more fun this way.

Dana~

Living in the Lower Mainland for most of my life, I should be accustomed to walking around at night. I grew up in Surrey, right around Guildford Mall. The area was peaceful, but always known for gang activity. My family kept me indoors at night unless we went out together. But still, I was never afraid really. Late at night, I could walk from our house to the Mac's store three blocks away without being scared. It was a breeze to me.

In 2012, I moved to East Richmond so I could be close to my college and my parents closer to their work. I started using public transit alone for the first time to get to class every day. I was always hyper aware on transit, protecting my bag and keeping an eye on those around me. When my classes ran late and I had to take transit at night, I began to feel nervous. Thank goodness my college was right next to a SkyTrain station. The only worrisome part was waiting for the bus home from the SkyTrain station nearest to my neighbourhood. But it happened to be well-lit and often transit police hung around that station since it was such a popular stop.

Now that I'm taking French night classes in Vancouver though, I have to walk quite a few blocks to the SkyTrain long after dark. The people look different without daylight to reveal their features. I'm sure most of them aren't bad, but you can never tell a person's intentions especially in the dark. My route is not really well lit despite being in the downtown core. I walk by quite a few bars and their rowdy patrons too. I feel as if each passer-by gives me a strange look, their faces distorted by the shadows. My fears seep in and suddenly all those people who seemed normal in the day could be potential threats. Is it the darkness that creates these monsters? Is it my own mind? I know to be aware in general as anyone can be bad. They could steal your belongings or hurt you for the sake of it. Overall, though, I should not fear all people because you can't live like that. Besides, even though we all have the capacity for evil, I doubt the majority are any different from myself. Still, late at night on my way home, I feel the hairs on the back of my neck tingle. My stomach flip-flops and I hug my bag tighter. I guess I'm going to have to start walking with my keys between my fingers, just for peace of mind. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I was sure thankful one of my friends lives near by and is willing to take me part of the way home some nights. The shadows might be in my mind, illusions of the dark, but I would still prefer to be safe rather than sorry.

Dana~

So job hunting is never an easy task. I mean, with my skills and experience I could enter a variety of fields... It's just that my resume competes with 2000 others every time. Too few jobs here for way too many job seekers. So after almost a year and a half without steady work, I decided to step my game up. Time to learn a new language!

As a writer and professional communicator, second languages are always a bonus on your resume. Especially since I live and hope to work in Canada, where we have a diverse population and businesses that must communicate on an international level. While I have always had a particular interest in other cultures and I've pick up a few words in Japanese, Korean, Russian and Spanish from my reading addiction...I am not fluent in anything other than English. Like most Canadians though, I studied French in school. I wish I had kept it up, but the skills I did keep allow me to read most French writing and understand the concepts. I figured that was my best bet to learn a second language since I already had a fairly good grasp of the basics.

Next I had to decide on how I wanted to learn. Should I pursue a university degree in French? Should I hire a private tutor? Should I move to France and immerse myself in the language? Well, all of those were great ideas and sounded like wonderful learning experiences...However, I am broke. First of all, student loans aren't a good idea considering I can't guarantee repayment after I graduate. As for private tutors, they charge high fees for each individual lesson. Finally, a second move abroad is not only expensive up front, but dangerous as I have no connections or people to stay with over there. With all my French fantasies quashed, I had to look elsewhere for a solution.

After hours of research, I happened to discover adult education courses. They ran at a community college in the city at night and didn't use a regular grading scale so I could learn at my own pace. They also had a low one time fee that I could afford. Each course came with a certificate of completion as well. It's perfect. I start in a few days and I can't help it... I am practicing on my own now too. My conversation is clumsy but I have the passion and drive to improve. I will get this right and be able to put French working proficiency on my resume one day.

Dana~

Since I was very small, my parents and I have always taken quick trips to Edmonton to visit extended family. Both of my parents were raised in Northern Alberta and only moved down to Vancouver in the early 90's. I was born a few years later and they decided to stay put. However, we still wanted to be a part of our extended family's lives. Therefore every few months Mom would schlep us and a weekend's worth of luggage to the airport. It was usually on holidays that we'd fly to visit my grandparents and cousins. My elder sister and her family live there too, so there's always plenty of people with whom to catch up.

However, as I got older and my parents got busier, those visits were few and far between. Maybe once a year, if at all. I thought nothing of it, we just didn't have the time. There couldn't have been any other reasons, right?

Recently, I'd been promising my sister I would come to see my niece around her birthday. When I asked my mom if we had the time, she agreed to organize it. Granted, it wasn't as easy as I remembered. Our schedules were all different, people had work and slept during the day... It took my mom a month to find two and a half days where we could see my sister. Also, while we chose not to stay with my mom's family this time because they were out of town, we found we all slept rather poorly in the hotel. Yes, it had a nice ambiance and comfy beds, but both my father and I are fan-sleepers. We need the white noise and cool air, which neither of us got while in the hotel. Our tossing and turning kept mom awake, resulting in lack of sleep for all of us. Then there was the heavily chlorinated water. At least, I think it was chlorine. All I know is that taking a bath felt more like going for a swim. The water was bright blue and made my hair both stiff and frizzy. Then there's travel food. Hotels don't have in-room kitchens, so we ate out most of the time and as we all know, it's faster to grab a bag of chips for a flight than to sit down for a meal. Sure, everything we ate was edible and most of it was tasty, but after three days of restaurant meals and junk food I was bloated and nauseous. Everything needs to be done in moderation...

Once we made the trip home, I collapsed onto my bed and napped. Well, I closed my eyes for five minutes and then sent out an email with my resume for another job opportunity. Either way, I was exhausted. I used to love those short trips, but they really take a lot out of me. It always seemed so easy to close the gap between me and the rest of my family, but not anymore. That hop, skip and a jump leaves me feeling drained and often times sick. Still, they are family. I wouldn't give them up for the world. So I will continue to make these trips, frizzy hair and nausea be damned.

Dana~

Money doesn't grow on trees, especially when you're job hunting. So when I'm given a gift card or even a small bit of money, I save it like crazy. Okay, more like unhealthily hoarding it.

For example, I got a Steam gift card the other week. Now, I've wanted to purchase new games for ages to pass the time between writing job applications. There are so many good looking games out there. Unfortunately, I'm picky when it comes to my games and money nowadays. I only spend money on games with replay value. That's it. If I can't keep coming back to a game and enjoying a new experience, it isn't worth the money to me. Especially if it's over $15.

So when I got home and entered my code into my Steam account, I excitedly surfed the shop for something new to play. I referenced my wishlist and looked at all recommendations. I was even about to buy a few. Then that damn little voice in my head said, "Wait! You'll regret it."

"But how could I? It's got great reviews!" I contested.

My conscious was unwavering, "No, you'll be bored of it in a day. Forget it."

Thus, I didn't buy any games. It's always been like this. I save all my money for a day where I desperately need it, even though it's usually money I've been waiting to use for something specific. I remember saving my lunch money in college thinking there'd be a day when I really needed it to go out or something. This was despite the fact I was starving between classes all semester and that I never went out on the town anyways.

So the gift card sits unused and unloved. I still return to games I love with replay value. The Sims 3 is always a favourite and can be different each play through. I've also found myself a fan of Kitty Power's Matchmaker on Steam. The British humor and slang gives me waves of nostalgia.

Still, I wish I weren't so prudent and responsible with my money. It'd be nice to have fun for a change.

Dana~

I find life has a way of surprising me. It can be something very simple too. Something I noticed in a book, an advertisement on a bus bunch or even something I hear over the radio. This time it was an early morning re-run of "Steven & Chris" about a week ago.

I had a rough night, arguing with my partner and generally not sleeping well. I woke up at 3 a.m. decidedly frustrated with constant nightmares. I was playing on my 3DS until about 4 a.m. when I heard my mother knock on my door. She had fallen asleep just after dinner due to jet lag and was blearily staring at me from my doorway.

"Why aren't you asleep?" she grumbled.

I barely looked up from my game to respond, "I slept a little, now I'm awake. Are you ok?"

She nodded with a huff and plodded down the stairs in search of coffee. I closed my game and followed my mother. We hadn't spent much time together since she returned from her last business trip and I really needed the company. After about thirty minutes of making coffee and taking turns in the washroom, we settled into the living room and turned on the TV. Mom flicked it to "Steven & Chris" so we could have cheery background noise while we spoke.

I lamented to her about my situation and asked for advice, she explained I was doing the right thing. She expressed the fact that she didn't know what else to do to help me. I said all I wanted was hugs. In general, it was a normal mother-daughter conversation. However, as we were chatting I found myself constantly interrupted by a loud, effeminate voice on our TV.  It was the talk show host, Chris. He was going on about yoga poses and making silly comments. His laugh though, caused my mother and I to burst into fits of giggles. His charisma was infectious. We laughed about him and noted how him and his partner were such a good match. My mother commented on his happy and sweet demeanor. He was sassy and lovely. We both agreed that he belonged on television.

That memory stuck in my head that day because it was one of the first honest conversations I had with my mother about my love life, and we shared that moment over an episode of "Steven & Chris". If anything, the program added to our moment and gave us little bits of laughter and joy.

So it was very sad for me to hear of Chris Hyndman's passing today. I was shocked. It hadn't been even a week since I saw the program and shared that time with my mother. He was young, healthy and happy. I couldn't believe it at first, even thinking back to the date on the program we watched.  I had actually grown up watching Chris on all of his and Steven's various shows, specifically "Design Guys". It was unbelievable to think he was gone. But it was true, and a little piece of my heart broke off. All I could think of was how much Steven and his family must miss him...

This news surprised me as it meant the loss of someone who made even the smallest difference in my life. It was his laughter and amazing persona that solidified that moment in time for me. I remember the giggles and conversation I shared with my mother at 5 a.m. because of his wondrous way with words. All I can say is thank you and I hope Chris is in a better place.

Dana~

I'm not sure what changed, but all of the sudden my lovely desktop gave up on me. I first noticed that my security software wouldn't load... I could click on McAfee all I wanted, it did not want to open. I thought that was weird so I opened my task manager. Task manager wouldn't open. I got very scared. Extremely so. Thus, I rebooted hoping that would fix things as it usually does (Windows memory leak and what not). Everything looked fine, booted to my desktop like normal. However, task manager still wouldn't open. Neither would McAfee. Uh-oh.

Now normally if a piece of software stops working, I write it off and uninstall. You can't do that with security software or the task manager. One is important for protecting my computer while the other is literally a part of my computer's OS. I knew I was in trouble, so I Googled like crazy. Many people said it might be a virus, just run your security software. Well, McAfee wouldn't open so I had to solve that problem first. The online consensus was that my Java needed to be updated. So I tried that. It spent 10 hours installing before I gave up. For hours after that I tried to do basic trouble-shooting until I decided I would have to run a System Restore. I've done it before, and in general it works like a charm. So I selected a day that it was working and let it do it's thing. I waited and waited. My computer wouldn't finish logging off. It was in a loop for three days. I finally gave up, forced it off and rebooted to the desktop. It didn't finish the System Restore, but it hadn't changed anything either. I realized that I would need professional help. And no, I didn't need a therapist.

I figured it would be a virus removal or something simple. Maybe the hard drive might need to be wiped. So I tried to pop my 32GB USB in to back up files. Uh, nope. It wouldn't recognize it. I started to sweat now; there were files I hadn't backed up in a while. Important writing. Game saves. Gulp. Then I realized, I still had access to my web browser. Google Drive was my saviour. I uploaded anything and everything I could find that was of any importance. However, after about five minutes of uploading, my Windows Explorer would crash. No, not Internet Explorer (I was using Chrome to upload), but the file explorer that allows me to view my documents and pictures. The task bar and start button vanished. Double uh-oh. Was this going to be more expensive than I thought?

To rescue my files before my computer completely died, I had to keep force rebooting every five minutes. Once Windows Explorer crashed I couldn't access the files. It was a pain in the butt to say the least. Eventually I salvaged my files and called a repair company. I dropped my tower off a day later and prayed that they could save it. I couldn't afford a new $800 desktop.

The very next day, not even 24 hours after I dropped it off, the tech called saying he'd fixed everything! He even replaced my old security software, gave me a bunch of new protection and computer health programs as well as updated all my installed software. He even got my computer to finish all pertinent Windows updates, ones that I couldn't do for years as it'd force my computer into a death loop. When I got it back, he showed me everything, talked me through the new software and showed me that my favourite game was still operable. He even opened the hard case and explained where everything was and what I would need to do when I was ready for a hardware upgrade. This tech went above and beyond; the service was exceptional and very reasonably priced! After about five days of using it, he even texted me to check up on it and answer any further questions I had. Honestly, if you have any computer problems and live in the Lower Mainland, call TSG Computer Services.

My much loved desktop is running better than ever and I couldn't be happier.

Dana~

I admit it, I'm very spoiled. I've traveled all my life, been well-taken care of and received various expensive gifts. The latter of which includes my new tablet. Now, I know..."You already have various electronic things. Many of them with screens and Internet access! Why on Earth would I need another?" I sort of asked myself that question when my parents proposed the idea last month.

My parent's Kobo eReaders were on their last legs. Not to mention their last, proprietary charger that even the manufacturer refused to sell.  Dad loved his Kobo, he's been an avid reader his whole life. A trained speed reader to boot. I'm a speed reader as well, but no where near his capacity. He can finish a few hundred pages in a few hours. Before ebooks were a thing, we had an entire room in our townhouse devoted to books. Paperbacks and hardcovers were squished together and lined several floor to ceiling bookcases. Then one day, we had to move out of that house and downsize. Mom said the books couldn't come with us. Dad had to pair it down to one bookcase. My father was of course, devastated. But around the time we realized a move was in the cards, both Mom and Dad discovered Kobo. They purchased each other an eReader for Xmas and I have to say, that probably softened the blow of the move for Dad.

However, it's been more than three years since then and their Kobos, which were faulty and poorly designed to begin with, were finally dying. As house techie, I was tasked with the job of finding a replacement. My reward, Dad said, would be a tablet of my own so I had to pick carefully. I didn't really mind and I didn't need a reward; I was pleased to search for something to make my father happy.

I looked at the newest Kobos first, considering Dad wanted to keep his vast digital library. They all looked fancy and had similar features to the other competing ereaders. Unfortunately, they were plagued with similar or worse issues than the first generation models my family already owned. Mom wanted something that would last; she also wanted more capabilities. Also I had heard good things about the Kobo Android app, it functioned quite well and would let my father retain his library.  So I looked at Android tablets.


A year prior to this, I had done the research and helped my mom pick out new phones for all of us, going with the Google Nexus 5 as it was always one of the first to receive Android updates, something our prior smartphones lacked. So currently, my parents were both used to Android 5.0 Lollipop. They knew how to navigate it and make things work the way they liked. I figured a tablet on Lollipop would be the best choice for their comfort level. Eventually, we settled on the 8" Samsung Galaxy Tab A and we went to our local BestBuy to take a look. Mom went all out, after we all agreed it was the right tablet she pointed to the cases and then the styluses. She got the warranties and protective coating for all three tablets. The sales associate was ecstatic. He even gave us a discount for buying so much at once.

So now I have a tablet. I love the look of it and it's functionality. But I'm not quite sure what to do with it. My father said I should try the Kobo app, and I will. But I really think I can do more with it. It's got the power of a small laptop and I have a feeling that with the right Bluetooth keyboard, this could be my best friend for sudden writing inspiration.

Time will tell.

Dana~

So my dream of living abroad has come to an end. After much hesitation, I decided I just couldn't handle it anymore. I was sick all the time, jobless and stressed out. There was too much drama in my living situation that the normal stress of my poor health and my endless job hunt were amplified. So I packed my bags, apologized to my partner and flew home. I was uncertain where I stood with my partner. I told him I'd try to come back. But I don't know. I need to find myself and get well before any decisions are made.

For now I'm so happy to be home. I'm enjoying Canadian food that doesn't make me sick and spending time with my family. I get to retire to my own bed with it's soft memory foam mattress. Yes, I miss my partner, but I know I need this. My anxieties need to clear up and I must get my health back. I hated making this choice. However, my mood improvement already shows I chose correctly.

So, after only four months...My life abroad is over. Still, I learned a lot about myself and how to be independent. I can cook for myself and I'm comfortable doing so. I know how to shop efficiently and search out deals. I can manage all household chores and keep up with bills. This adventure has given me so many life skills. Better still, I found out what it was like to live with a partner for the first time as well as what it's like to live on very little money. I do not regret the move one iota.

Dana~

Life in the UK isn't as awesome as I had hoped. Things with my partner are tense to say the least...His family drama has pushed me to the edge and put him into a miserable place. Nothing I do snaps him out of it.  Worse still, I haven't found work and I'm really worried about our money situation. Also, I realized no matter how careful I am, the food here keeps causing IBS flare ups. I'm in agony all the time and I've lost 30lbs because I can barely eat. I miss home everyday. I miss my family.

The stress pushed me too far the other day. I broke down. I found myself wandering aimlessly in town again and I couldn't take the pressure anymore. I was at my worst when this was supposed to be a great time in my life. So I reached out to a charity counselling group. They set me up with a support worker and a counselor. Meeting the support worker helped me right away. I felt more confident and less trapped in my own head. She gave me support and tough love, both of which I desperately needed. She also gave me more resources to look after myself. I left the meeting with pamphlets, notes and a new outlook. I knew things weren't going to be amazing, but maybe I could pull myself out of this funk.

I have my first appointment with the counselor next week. I picked a male counselor because I thought he could give me a better point of view on how my boyfriend was feeling. I wanted to be objective about everything and fair to his position. Fingers crossed this helps me sort out my anxieties.

Dana~

Well, despite being really down about my job hunt... I found a way to feel better. My partner, his older brother and I all went on a trip this week! It was a day trip, but being out and seeing the sights was a refreshing change. It was all very impromptu. His brother picked us up and drove us to Lynton & Lynmouth. Gosh, was it just a gorgeous sight! I adored it there. So much to see and so much history to soak up. I wish we could afford to go out like this more often.

The view from the Lynton & Lynmouth tram

Essentially, they are two towns, one down by the ocean and the other on top of a ginormous hill. There's a little tram to take up the hill to get between the towns. The ocean view across to Wales was breath-taking too, and it was really cool to see another country off in the distance. Reminds me of looking across the water in White Rock and seeing Washington State. But Wales looks so much nicer from here. Maybe I'm wearing rose-coloured glasses still, but I really needed this day out.

Dana~

As the titled explains... I am getting discouraged. I have been applying left and right for work. Everyday, I'm putting myself out there as much as I possibly can. To be fair, I have gotten a lot of responses! In fact, the first day of using my new phone I had a phone interview for the perfect job. I was even offered the position while on the phone. We discussed everything and he said he would get it set up. Then the next day I received a rejection email. The interviewer had been so enthusiastic about hiring me on the phone... I was confused. I brushed it off as they found someone better.

Then the same thing happened the following week. And then again. And again. In four weeks, I've been turned down for countless jobs right after making it through the hiring process. According to each interviewer, I was personable and met all their criteria. What was I doing wrong?  Finally, I asked the last interviewer who rejected me why they had made the decision. What did I need to work on? She took a while to get back to me, but awkwardly explained that the company was nervous to hire someone on a visa. They preferred to hire nationals instead of foreigners.

That was odd. I had already explained that my visa allowed me to work and there would be no issues. I even said I would be willing to return to Canada and switch visas if they wanted me as a permanent hire. I had done my research and knew what the requirements were. Still, that was their reasoning. No foreign-nationals. During the interview, she figured I would be fine to hire and enthusiastically offered me the job anyways. But when she took it to her superiors... that's when I was rejected. They were anxious about hiring immigrants and didn't want to be painted in a poor light for not supporting jobs for UK citizens.

I felt horrible. I never knew it would be so hard to get a job. I thanked the interviewer for her candor and went back to applying. It's been a week since then and I'm losing more hope with every rejection. Am I not worthy because I'm Canadian?

Dana~

Disclaimer: The majority of this political essay was written around May 6th, 2015, one day prior to the UK General Election. I do not harbour any hard feelings against any of the parties or politicians mentioned below. Even if I disagree with someones views, I am thankful for everyone's participation in democracy.

Source: theglobeandmail.com

In the last eight or nine months, my interest in politics has been shaken. My beliefs in democracy doubted. My fear of the future made real. I just had to expand my horizons to find out what true politics were like. Back home in Canada, I've watched the federal Conservatives slowly peck away at the country I love. Taxes and tuition for those who aren't well off still cripple us financially, while big business booms and our beloved franchise is bought by the Americans. (Oh, and that's just for another big business tax break!) Our environmental policies and protected regions dwindled alongside a suffering minimum wage that can't support young people in cities where many homes cost over million dollars. However, I knew all these things would happen years ago, before I was even of voting age. Things in Canada never really seem to drastically change. Not suddenly, and not in a very large, sweeping manner.

That, right there, is my issue. I was never scared of Canadian politics. Even with all our problems and lacking solutions, politics aren't exactly life-shattering here. Canadian politics are a slow-going process. Big promises, little positive change. Our politicians are all the same, each one only slightly less evil than the next.

Picture manufactured charisma bots painted in red, orange and blue respectively, each with their little political dial turned a little more left or a little more right. Smile, now wave. Kiss the baby, promise tax cuts. Its all scripted. They are only bit different and yet fight each other tooth and nail over their dissimilarities. That's the fun part though. Cheering for your favourite, hoping their empty promises come true. (Blue throws coastguard cuts, Red ducks it and offers to reopen closed stations. Blue is wavering, but creates a scare-tactic security bill. Orange tosses a higher minimum wage and better hospital funding. Knock out!) All joking aside, I honestly, wholeheartedly, love Canadian politics despite its many faults.

Source: Amazon.com

Now that I've briefly changed locales though, swapped touqs for flat-caps, pants for trousers and chips for crisps, I see the world very differently. The United Kingdom's election has dissolved my love of political gambit. I knew European politics were different. I also knew the UK was not very European (Its equal to calling a Canadian American. Don't do it.). I just didn't realize how drastic the politics were across the pond.

Last summer, I visited the UK for the first time. I stayed with a lovely family, some of whom were communists. Not just by preference but actual active party members who run in local elections. Now don't be afraid, these people aren't the red scourge from the 50's. They are sweet, loving retired men and women who believe in proper unions, fairness for the working class and a minimum wage that keeps up with inflation. Sure, they call each other 'comrade' and have red flags portraying a hammer and sickle laying around, but they are still a harmless group of honest people. On the most part, they drink tea in our cottage's living room while they talk about a better future for their children. I never pictured communism in such a way, it was refreshing and eye-opening. But that wasn't the only new political exposure I received.

Source: telegraph.co.uk

I noticed odd purple signs sprouting up around the small Southern English town. They were emblazoned with bright yellow £ symbols and the acronym UKIP. I turned to my English partner as we walked by one of these signs, "What are those for?"

He sighed, tired of indulging my endless, naive questions about very common English objects, sayings and buildings. When he looked up to where I pointed, his exasperation with my curiosity vanished. "Now they've got signs up?! That's the UK Independence Party, they're focused on getting rid of all immigrants who are 'coming over here and taking our jobs'. They have no clue about the real world," my partner growled, scowling up at the cardboard signage.

I didn't believe him right away. I didn't understand that blatant racism could be so prevalent in a modern Western nation (This was before the race riots really erupted in the United States). That is until I saw a UKIP broadcast two weeks later. A member of UKIP was parading around an English town square with a famous Irishman. I wasn't really aware of either of the men myself, but I watched the scene unfold with intrigue. As they walked around handing out fliers, the Irishman spoke fondly of England. The UKIP member then looked into the camera before turning back to the famous Irishman and said something along the lines of, "So that's why you immigrants won't go back to Ireland, huh?"

I was stunned. The man knew he was on TV. He looked into the camera before he said it. What was more shocking was that the UKIP polls increased after that broadcast. Yes, increased. Reality hit me hard though when the real campaigning began this spring after my return to the UK. Immediately, I was bombarded with signs and campaigning. Even the usually laid back communists that I stayed with would go out every day to pass out leaflets. Everyone was trying so hard to be heard, everyone feared they would lose something if the wrong party were to win. I thought it was similar to Canadian politics until I realized the issues the new UK government was going to deal with would cause massive changes to not only the country but it's financial and social structure. It felt like an all or nothing election. I could see why everyone was trying so hard. They all felt that they were going to lose parts of their life that were genuinely important. It's not just a minimum wage hike and voting reform, it's health care and what puts food on their families tables.

Source: blueteg.com

There is a lot of truth to that sentiment. The NHS, one of the best medical systems in the world, is crippled by a lack of funding and the current rumored solution is to dismantle it all together in favour of privatization. The benefits system that many sick, disabled or unemployed individuals rely on is being slashed to ribbons, leaving the most vulnerable struggling to survive against inflation. Furthermore, despite current government claims, unemployment has not gotten any better under the zero hours contracts. Two million more people have jobs now but 1.8 million of them hardly receive any hours, let alone a pay check. There are a thousand more problems, just like every country in the world. Thus, even like Canada, the charisma bots are out and about, spouting their plans and policies to solve their country's problems.

What's terrifying is the changes and plans that are being presented. Massive benefit cuts, the loss of the NHS, and complete immigration reform. Some politicians threaten to cap immigration entirely, getting rid of valid and useful visa categories while costing companies millions of pounds when they have to wait years to fill their labour shortages. What's worrisome is each party was more extreme than the next. The changes put forward weren't little improvements but sweeping shifts of reform. Each party's view was also extreme, as demonstrated not only by their representatives but by their voters.

The pub owner down the street from our cottage was the worst and just an example of the many extreme views I have encountered. Late in the evenings, once anyone who wasn't obviously British had left the pub, the old owner would begin her rants to the drunken regulars at the bar. "All these Muslims," she would tout, "they're all terrorists." I choked on my soda as I listened in from behind a pillar. My partner's jaw hung open, but we kept quiet for a moment. "These immigrants are taking over," the old woman continued, "I left London because of all the blacks." This was a turning point for me. Never in my life had I heard such blatant racism. Such proper hate. My partner had a word with her immediately, but she used the straw man argument, "So you agree with all those innocent people being beheaded?" In our minds, she must have forgotten about the white man from South London conducting the beheadings. Suffice to say, we never returned despite it being our local pub.

Source: blogdailyherald.com

Soon, I will make the journey home to Canada. I try not to think about a party so obviously bad or sweeping changes that wouldn't just affect one social class but all of them. I also do my best not to assume the worst of the British people. Most people I know in the UK are welcoming, approve of immigration and treat everyone equally. Our own election looms this autumn, and while I've never feared Canadian politics before, I will definitely take a more critical eye to the platforms. Maybe I was naive about it all, maybe I'm just not seeing the bigger picture back home because I'm in the thick of it. At least I can munch on all-dressed potato chips while I try to grasp Canada's political outlook. UK politics left a bad taste in my mouth.

Dana~

Shopping in the UK is a little different from back home. Shops tend to close around 5 p.m. during the week, or promptly at 4 p.m. on Sundays. For someone who shops at Walmart around 9 p.m any day of the week, this was like living in the twilight zone. Most days, it was extremely frustrating. I'm not usually decent enough to go out by 2 p.m., let alone get two weeks worth of groceries before 4 p.m. The few days I attempted this I felt like death afterwards for all the rushing around and carrying heavy bags the whole way through town.

My new cellphone came today! It's an Alcatel phone with a QWERTY keyboard. I love proper physical keyboards on phones. I haven't had one in forever. Two of my favourite phones had them: my orange LG Rumor and my HTC Desire Z. Now that I upgraded my Canadian phone last year to a Google Nexus 5, I miss my QWERTY keyboard for typing. So this little pink phone makes me very happy. Texting will be a breeze.

My sim card came in the mail a few days ago. I popped it into my phone right away and activated it online. My pink phone is ALIVE! Muwahahaha. Now I'm off to apply for jobs and continue forward with my plans for living in the UK for the next couple years. Having a cellphone really solidifies it for me. I have a UK number attached to my name... I really am living here.

Dana~

I began my job hunt the other day and realized I was missing one very important thing. A UK phone number. I couldn't exactly give them my boyfriend's cell number, he rarely checks his phone and I don't want to miss an opportunity. So I came to the decision of purchasing a basic cellphone so I could apply for work. It also would come in handy if my partner or friends needed to contact me when I'm out and about. Especially since I find myself wandering through town aimlessly nowadays. It is quite beautiful and I adore the historical buildings.

Anyways, I explained my position to my partner who agreed and said I should look for a good company. He wanted to switch to a new plan since his company was gouging him every month. Thus I set out to visit the phone shops on the High Street the following day. I stopped at all of them and discussed phone plans. They all were really expensive for what I wanted. Also everyone kept trying to sell me on a smartphone when all I needed was a basic phone for texting and phone calls.

 Eventually, I met my partner at his brother's house both tired and frustrated that I had not found a solution to my cellphone problem. My partner corrected my English, reminding me that they were called mobiles here. As I was about to tell him I didn't care, the fiance of my partner's brother spoke up. She told me about her phone plan and how if I purchased a cheap phone from Amazon, I could sign up with giffgaff. Everything was done online and you could order a free sim card right away. They even had a plan which included everything I needed for only a few quid a month.

It sounded too good to be true, but I spent the rest of the afternoon looking it up. She had been right. Even better, once we switched my partner over, texting between us was free! I ordered the sim cards that night and began searching for my new phone on Amazon. Hopefully I'll be hooked up with my new "mobile" number soon!

Dana~

So, I may not have discussed this before, but I'm an avid Simmer. This may not be a word most people know, but it's basic definition is a person who plays a lot of "The Sims 3". I've been playing for about four years now mostly because it's a great way to tell stories and create characters. Whenever I have writer's block, playing Sims always gets my creative juices flowing.

Now, back in Canada I had a pretty decent desktop. It had an Intel i5 processor and everything. It ran "The Sims 3" really well. Well enough that I added so many mods it wasn't funny. I liked to be able to alter the game and my stories to my whim. It was great. Unfortunately, I had to leave my desktop behind when I moved to the UK. I had a hard time coming to grips with the fact I was going to lose my favourite creative outlet. Then I realized I could install the game on my Macbook Pro! I thought this was the solution I needed.

No. Nuh-uh. Not happening. Yes, the game installed. Yes, it ran sort-of-but-not-really-fine. My issue was that the mods barely functioned. Modifications that normally caused no lag, forced the game to a slow crawl. Then there was the custom hair glitch. Half of my properly-installed custom hair styles never load, no matter what trick I try. I had a method to get them to load (Load game, check hairs, close game, delete caches and reset mods, restart game), but even now that has stopped working.

I am very irked as many of the glitches have made me feel more annoyed by my hobby than happy. Things have gotten a bit stressful and I always used to turn to Sims...but now it too is a struggle. I guess I'll just have to keep fighting with it on a day I'm not frustrated.

Dana~

I did it. I live in the UK now. Part of me thinks this is unreal. The other part of me is full of excitement and is jumping for joy. Living abroad is a dream I have that finally came true. The travel was a pain, but after nine hours in the air and five hours riding a National Express coach to the South of England, I finally arrived in my new temporary home. There wasn't much to see on the way, mostly empty fields and sheep. Lots of sheep. But I love sheep, so no real problem. My partner met me at the bus station and we took my luggage back up to the cottage. It has been such a long day I don't think I can explain much more in any coherent way.

I'm settling in and counting all the different things I have to be excited about. New plans to make and a new future to create. I'm excited beyond belief! (Have I said the word excited enough in this post?) For now, I'm too tired to cook and we ordered our favourite Chinese takeaway. I must try to nail down all the slang so I fit in a little better. I still get looks for my North American accent, but my Canadian flag pin should help me be rid of those.

Tomorrow is a new day, the start of a new life in a new country. I just hope I don't forget my old life too much. I'm not leaving Canada nor my family behind forever...

Dana~

I handed in my passport to the UK government the other day. In two weeks time, I should have my Youth Mobility Scheme visa. You see, that relationship across the pond grew a little bit. Enough for me to give it a real shot and move in with the man. I mean, we spent 6 months together last year. Three in England and three in Canada. This visa was the easiest for us to be together and it lets me try to find work right away. This feels very rushed, but so right. The excitement is so intense I feel like I could burst! I've always wanted to live abroad, let alone date someone from far away. Even better I could have international experience on my resume. Chance of a lifetime, absolutely!

Now the not so fun part. I'm terrified. I have never lived away from my family. I can barely cook for myself, not for lack of trying. Then there's the whole, "I'll have no support system" issue. My friends and family, my confidants are all back home. But Skype should be enough and I can always buy a cookbook... I guess I'm just a little nervous. This is technically me moving away from home for two years. That's a hell of a long time. Maybe I'm naive believing I can do this. I mean, I'm 21. I am certainly old enough. But am I mature enough? Are all these doubts proving that I'm not ready? I guess I should go for it and try not to focus on all these worries. I have pretty much everything else sorted. Accommodations, tickets for travel and starting off funds. I'm not taking a blind leap of faith. Thought it certainly feels like it.

I don't want to live with regrets.

Dana~

I suppose I should introduce myself. Or should I talk about this blog? There's not much to say about it right now, the website has yet to be developed so why discuss it? I guess that leads to the discussion of me as someone who is sort of developed. I write, I ramble. I'm often out of my mind but focused on what I'm doing. My current focus is job hunting and developing myself as a person. I finished college a year ago, studying professional writing in hopes it would open new doors. Thus far it hasn't even opened a window, but my horizons certainly broadened.

A sunset shot from my trip to  Harrison Hot Springs, BC

I had the time to travel, first camping around BC and then to the UK of all places. It was never high on my list of post-education destinations; Japan was always a childhood dream vacation. But I formed a relationship across the pond and the travel plans made sense. Besides, doesn't everyone go backpacking in Europe after college? Though, the UK isn't really in Europe and staying in a rural cottage for the summer isn't really backpacking.

So those are my most recent exploits. College graduation, job hunting and international travel...Boy, do I feel like a cliche.  Either way, I created this blog so as to practice my skills and make sure I had an online presence. Now let's hope my Photoshop skills don't fail me as I try to assemble this page!

Posts that may appear here will include anything from politics and local news to my daily happenings and video games. Hopefully my writings will be insightful to you, readers of the Internet. Maybe my personal growth will be entertaining or educational...Though I have my doubts.

Dana~