I'm not sure what changed, but all of the sudden my lovely desktop gave up on me. I first noticed that my security software wouldn't load... I could click on McAfee all I wanted, it did not want to open. I thought that was weird so I opened my task manager. Task manager wouldn't open. I got very scared. Extremely so. Thus, I rebooted hoping that would fix things as it usually does (Windows memory leak and what not). Everything looked fine, booted to my desktop like normal. However, task manager still wouldn't open. Neither would McAfee. Uh-oh.

Now normally if a piece of software stops working, I write it off and uninstall. You can't do that with security software or the task manager. One is important for protecting my computer while the other is literally a part of my computer's OS. I knew I was in trouble, so I Googled like crazy. Many people said it might be a virus, just run your security software. Well, McAfee wouldn't open so I had to solve that problem first. The online consensus was that my Java needed to be updated. So I tried that. It spent 10 hours installing before I gave up. For hours after that I tried to do basic trouble-shooting until I decided I would have to run a System Restore. I've done it before, and in general it works like a charm. So I selected a day that it was working and let it do it's thing. I waited and waited. My computer wouldn't finish logging off. It was in a loop for three days. I finally gave up, forced it off and rebooted to the desktop. It didn't finish the System Restore, but it hadn't changed anything either. I realized that I would need professional help. And no, I didn't need a therapist.

I figured it would be a virus removal or something simple. Maybe the hard drive might need to be wiped. So I tried to pop my 32GB USB in to back up files. Uh, nope. It wouldn't recognize it. I started to sweat now; there were files I hadn't backed up in a while. Important writing. Game saves. Gulp. Then I realized, I still had access to my web browser. Google Drive was my saviour. I uploaded anything and everything I could find that was of any importance. However, after about five minutes of uploading, my Windows Explorer would crash. No, not Internet Explorer (I was using Chrome to upload), but the file explorer that allows me to view my documents and pictures. The task bar and start button vanished. Double uh-oh. Was this going to be more expensive than I thought?

To rescue my files before my computer completely died, I had to keep force rebooting every five minutes. Once Windows Explorer crashed I couldn't access the files. It was a pain in the butt to say the least. Eventually I salvaged my files and called a repair company. I dropped my tower off a day later and prayed that they could save it. I couldn't afford a new $800 desktop.

The very next day, not even 24 hours after I dropped it off, the tech called saying he'd fixed everything! He even replaced my old security software, gave me a bunch of new protection and computer health programs as well as updated all my installed software. He even got my computer to finish all pertinent Windows updates, ones that I couldn't do for years as it'd force my computer into a death loop. When I got it back, he showed me everything, talked me through the new software and showed me that my favourite game was still operable. He even opened the hard case and explained where everything was and what I would need to do when I was ready for a hardware upgrade. This tech went above and beyond; the service was exceptional and very reasonably priced! After about five days of using it, he even texted me to check up on it and answer any further questions I had. Honestly, if you have any computer problems and live in the Lower Mainland, call TSG Computer Services.

My much loved desktop is running better than ever and I couldn't be happier.

Dana~

I admit it, I'm very spoiled. I've traveled all my life, been well-taken care of and received various expensive gifts. The latter of which includes my new tablet. Now, I know..."You already have various electronic things. Many of them with screens and Internet access! Why on Earth would I need another?" I sort of asked myself that question when my parents proposed the idea last month.

My parent's Kobo eReaders were on their last legs. Not to mention their last, proprietary charger that even the manufacturer refused to sell.  Dad loved his Kobo, he's been an avid reader his whole life. A trained speed reader to boot. I'm a speed reader as well, but no where near his capacity. He can finish a few hundred pages in a few hours. Before ebooks were a thing, we had an entire room in our townhouse devoted to books. Paperbacks and hardcovers were squished together and lined several floor to ceiling bookcases. Then one day, we had to move out of that house and downsize. Mom said the books couldn't come with us. Dad had to pair it down to one bookcase. My father was of course, devastated. But around the time we realized a move was in the cards, both Mom and Dad discovered Kobo. They purchased each other an eReader for Xmas and I have to say, that probably softened the blow of the move for Dad.

However, it's been more than three years since then and their Kobos, which were faulty and poorly designed to begin with, were finally dying. As house techie, I was tasked with the job of finding a replacement. My reward, Dad said, would be a tablet of my own so I had to pick carefully. I didn't really mind and I didn't need a reward; I was pleased to search for something to make my father happy.

I looked at the newest Kobos first, considering Dad wanted to keep his vast digital library. They all looked fancy and had similar features to the other competing ereaders. Unfortunately, they were plagued with similar or worse issues than the first generation models my family already owned. Mom wanted something that would last; she also wanted more capabilities. Also I had heard good things about the Kobo Android app, it functioned quite well and would let my father retain his library.  So I looked at Android tablets.


A year prior to this, I had done the research and helped my mom pick out new phones for all of us, going with the Google Nexus 5 as it was always one of the first to receive Android updates, something our prior smartphones lacked. So currently, my parents were both used to Android 5.0 Lollipop. They knew how to navigate it and make things work the way they liked. I figured a tablet on Lollipop would be the best choice for their comfort level. Eventually, we settled on the 8" Samsung Galaxy Tab A and we went to our local BestBuy to take a look. Mom went all out, after we all agreed it was the right tablet she pointed to the cases and then the styluses. She got the warranties and protective coating for all three tablets. The sales associate was ecstatic. He even gave us a discount for buying so much at once.

So now I have a tablet. I love the look of it and it's functionality. But I'm not quite sure what to do with it. My father said I should try the Kobo app, and I will. But I really think I can do more with it. It's got the power of a small laptop and I have a feeling that with the right Bluetooth keyboard, this could be my best friend for sudden writing inspiration.

Time will tell.

Dana~

So my dream of living abroad has come to an end. After much hesitation, I decided I just couldn't handle it anymore. I was sick all the time, jobless and stressed out. There was too much drama in my living situation that the normal stress of my poor health and my endless job hunt were amplified. So I packed my bags, apologized to my partner and flew home. I was uncertain where I stood with my partner. I told him I'd try to come back. But I don't know. I need to find myself and get well before any decisions are made.

For now I'm so happy to be home. I'm enjoying Canadian food that doesn't make me sick and spending time with my family. I get to retire to my own bed with it's soft memory foam mattress. Yes, I miss my partner, but I know I need this. My anxieties need to clear up and I must get my health back. I hated making this choice. However, my mood improvement already shows I chose correctly.

So, after only four months...My life abroad is over. Still, I learned a lot about myself and how to be independent. I can cook for myself and I'm comfortable doing so. I know how to shop efficiently and search out deals. I can manage all household chores and keep up with bills. This adventure has given me so many life skills. Better still, I found out what it was like to live with a partner for the first time as well as what it's like to live on very little money. I do not regret the move one iota.

Dana~

Life in the UK isn't as awesome as I had hoped. Things with my partner are tense to say the least...His family drama has pushed me to the edge and put him into a miserable place. Nothing I do snaps him out of it.  Worse still, I haven't found work and I'm really worried about our money situation. Also, I realized no matter how careful I am, the food here keeps causing IBS flare ups. I'm in agony all the time and I've lost 30lbs because I can barely eat. I miss home everyday. I miss my family.

The stress pushed me too far the other day. I broke down. I found myself wandering aimlessly in town again and I couldn't take the pressure anymore. I was at my worst when this was supposed to be a great time in my life. So I reached out to a charity counselling group. They set me up with a support worker and a counselor. Meeting the support worker helped me right away. I felt more confident and less trapped in my own head. She gave me support and tough love, both of which I desperately needed. She also gave me more resources to look after myself. I left the meeting with pamphlets, notes and a new outlook. I knew things weren't going to be amazing, but maybe I could pull myself out of this funk.

I have my first appointment with the counselor next week. I picked a male counselor because I thought he could give me a better point of view on how my boyfriend was feeling. I wanted to be objective about everything and fair to his position. Fingers crossed this helps me sort out my anxieties.

Dana~

Well, despite being really down about my job hunt... I found a way to feel better. My partner, his older brother and I all went on a trip this week! It was a day trip, but being out and seeing the sights was a refreshing change. It was all very impromptu. His brother picked us up and drove us to Lynton & Lynmouth. Gosh, was it just a gorgeous sight! I adored it there. So much to see and so much history to soak up. I wish we could afford to go out like this more often.

The view from the Lynton & Lynmouth tram

Essentially, they are two towns, one down by the ocean and the other on top of a ginormous hill. There's a little tram to take up the hill to get between the towns. The ocean view across to Wales was breath-taking too, and it was really cool to see another country off in the distance. Reminds me of looking across the water in White Rock and seeing Washington State. But Wales looks so much nicer from here. Maybe I'm wearing rose-coloured glasses still, but I really needed this day out.

Dana~

As the titled explains... I am getting discouraged. I have been applying left and right for work. Everyday, I'm putting myself out there as much as I possibly can. To be fair, I have gotten a lot of responses! In fact, the first day of using my new phone I had a phone interview for the perfect job. I was even offered the position while on the phone. We discussed everything and he said he would get it set up. Then the next day I received a rejection email. The interviewer had been so enthusiastic about hiring me on the phone... I was confused. I brushed it off as they found someone better.

Then the same thing happened the following week. And then again. And again. In four weeks, I've been turned down for countless jobs right after making it through the hiring process. According to each interviewer, I was personable and met all their criteria. What was I doing wrong?  Finally, I asked the last interviewer who rejected me why they had made the decision. What did I need to work on? She took a while to get back to me, but awkwardly explained that the company was nervous to hire someone on a visa. They preferred to hire nationals instead of foreigners.

That was odd. I had already explained that my visa allowed me to work and there would be no issues. I even said I would be willing to return to Canada and switch visas if they wanted me as a permanent hire. I had done my research and knew what the requirements were. Still, that was their reasoning. No foreign-nationals. During the interview, she figured I would be fine to hire and enthusiastically offered me the job anyways. But when she took it to her superiors... that's when I was rejected. They were anxious about hiring immigrants and didn't want to be painted in a poor light for not supporting jobs for UK citizens.

I felt horrible. I never knew it would be so hard to get a job. I thanked the interviewer for her candor and went back to applying. It's been a week since then and I'm losing more hope with every rejection. Am I not worthy because I'm Canadian?

Dana~

Disclaimer: The majority of this political essay was written around May 6th, 2015, one day prior to the UK General Election. I do not harbour any hard feelings against any of the parties or politicians mentioned below. Even if I disagree with someones views, I am thankful for everyone's participation in democracy.

Source: theglobeandmail.com

In the last eight or nine months, my interest in politics has been shaken. My beliefs in democracy doubted. My fear of the future made real. I just had to expand my horizons to find out what true politics were like. Back home in Canada, I've watched the federal Conservatives slowly peck away at the country I love. Taxes and tuition for those who aren't well off still cripple us financially, while big business booms and our beloved franchise is bought by the Americans. (Oh, and that's just for another big business tax break!) Our environmental policies and protected regions dwindled alongside a suffering minimum wage that can't support young people in cities where many homes cost over million dollars. However, I knew all these things would happen years ago, before I was even of voting age. Things in Canada never really seem to drastically change. Not suddenly, and not in a very large, sweeping manner.

That, right there, is my issue. I was never scared of Canadian politics. Even with all our problems and lacking solutions, politics aren't exactly life-shattering here. Canadian politics are a slow-going process. Big promises, little positive change. Our politicians are all the same, each one only slightly less evil than the next.

Picture manufactured charisma bots painted in red, orange and blue respectively, each with their little political dial turned a little more left or a little more right. Smile, now wave. Kiss the baby, promise tax cuts. Its all scripted. They are only bit different and yet fight each other tooth and nail over their dissimilarities. That's the fun part though. Cheering for your favourite, hoping their empty promises come true. (Blue throws coastguard cuts, Red ducks it and offers to reopen closed stations. Blue is wavering, but creates a scare-tactic security bill. Orange tosses a higher minimum wage and better hospital funding. Knock out!) All joking aside, I honestly, wholeheartedly, love Canadian politics despite its many faults.

Source: Amazon.com

Now that I've briefly changed locales though, swapped touqs for flat-caps, pants for trousers and chips for crisps, I see the world very differently. The United Kingdom's election has dissolved my love of political gambit. I knew European politics were different. I also knew the UK was not very European (Its equal to calling a Canadian American. Don't do it.). I just didn't realize how drastic the politics were across the pond.

Last summer, I visited the UK for the first time. I stayed with a lovely family, some of whom were communists. Not just by preference but actual active party members who run in local elections. Now don't be afraid, these people aren't the red scourge from the 50's. They are sweet, loving retired men and women who believe in proper unions, fairness for the working class and a minimum wage that keeps up with inflation. Sure, they call each other 'comrade' and have red flags portraying a hammer and sickle laying around, but they are still a harmless group of honest people. On the most part, they drink tea in our cottage's living room while they talk about a better future for their children. I never pictured communism in such a way, it was refreshing and eye-opening. But that wasn't the only new political exposure I received.

Source: telegraph.co.uk

I noticed odd purple signs sprouting up around the small Southern English town. They were emblazoned with bright yellow £ symbols and the acronym UKIP. I turned to my English partner as we walked by one of these signs, "What are those for?"

He sighed, tired of indulging my endless, naive questions about very common English objects, sayings and buildings. When he looked up to where I pointed, his exasperation with my curiosity vanished. "Now they've got signs up?! That's the UK Independence Party, they're focused on getting rid of all immigrants who are 'coming over here and taking our jobs'. They have no clue about the real world," my partner growled, scowling up at the cardboard signage.

I didn't believe him right away. I didn't understand that blatant racism could be so prevalent in a modern Western nation (This was before the race riots really erupted in the United States). That is until I saw a UKIP broadcast two weeks later. A member of UKIP was parading around an English town square with a famous Irishman. I wasn't really aware of either of the men myself, but I watched the scene unfold with intrigue. As they walked around handing out fliers, the Irishman spoke fondly of England. The UKIP member then looked into the camera before turning back to the famous Irishman and said something along the lines of, "So that's why you immigrants won't go back to Ireland, huh?"

I was stunned. The man knew he was on TV. He looked into the camera before he said it. What was more shocking was that the UKIP polls increased after that broadcast. Yes, increased. Reality hit me hard though when the real campaigning began this spring after my return to the UK. Immediately, I was bombarded with signs and campaigning. Even the usually laid back communists that I stayed with would go out every day to pass out leaflets. Everyone was trying so hard to be heard, everyone feared they would lose something if the wrong party were to win. I thought it was similar to Canadian politics until I realized the issues the new UK government was going to deal with would cause massive changes to not only the country but it's financial and social structure. It felt like an all or nothing election. I could see why everyone was trying so hard. They all felt that they were going to lose parts of their life that were genuinely important. It's not just a minimum wage hike and voting reform, it's health care and what puts food on their families tables.

Source: blueteg.com

There is a lot of truth to that sentiment. The NHS, one of the best medical systems in the world, is crippled by a lack of funding and the current rumored solution is to dismantle it all together in favour of privatization. The benefits system that many sick, disabled or unemployed individuals rely on is being slashed to ribbons, leaving the most vulnerable struggling to survive against inflation. Furthermore, despite current government claims, unemployment has not gotten any better under the zero hours contracts. Two million more people have jobs now but 1.8 million of them hardly receive any hours, let alone a pay check. There are a thousand more problems, just like every country in the world. Thus, even like Canada, the charisma bots are out and about, spouting their plans and policies to solve their country's problems.

What's terrifying is the changes and plans that are being presented. Massive benefit cuts, the loss of the NHS, and complete immigration reform. Some politicians threaten to cap immigration entirely, getting rid of valid and useful visa categories while costing companies millions of pounds when they have to wait years to fill their labour shortages. What's worrisome is each party was more extreme than the next. The changes put forward weren't little improvements but sweeping shifts of reform. Each party's view was also extreme, as demonstrated not only by their representatives but by their voters.

The pub owner down the street from our cottage was the worst and just an example of the many extreme views I have encountered. Late in the evenings, once anyone who wasn't obviously British had left the pub, the old owner would begin her rants to the drunken regulars at the bar. "All these Muslims," she would tout, "they're all terrorists." I choked on my soda as I listened in from behind a pillar. My partner's jaw hung open, but we kept quiet for a moment. "These immigrants are taking over," the old woman continued, "I left London because of all the blacks." This was a turning point for me. Never in my life had I heard such blatant racism. Such proper hate. My partner had a word with her immediately, but she used the straw man argument, "So you agree with all those innocent people being beheaded?" In our minds, she must have forgotten about the white man from South London conducting the beheadings. Suffice to say, we never returned despite it being our local pub.

Source: blogdailyherald.com

Soon, I will make the journey home to Canada. I try not to think about a party so obviously bad or sweeping changes that wouldn't just affect one social class but all of them. I also do my best not to assume the worst of the British people. Most people I know in the UK are welcoming, approve of immigration and treat everyone equally. Our own election looms this autumn, and while I've never feared Canadian politics before, I will definitely take a more critical eye to the platforms. Maybe I was naive about it all, maybe I'm just not seeing the bigger picture back home because I'm in the thick of it. At least I can munch on all-dressed potato chips while I try to grasp Canada's political outlook. UK politics left a bad taste in my mouth.

Dana~